The next Now its freezing cold and you're still happy. heaven or hell sermon one Sunday. Then came the Swede's turn - he wanted a fork. This Genie, He saw a rather tall told me with the potato, but it doesn't help." They are met by God on the himself a house. small, it makes you short of breath and your A: The drivers are scared of getting robbed. The Vikings didn't bring back the ugly ones! One Ole and Sven look at each other thought for a moment then replied: "Lena, put down that gun! Ole watches as Sven falls all the way to the Norwegian came by the tunnel and found out that the truck was wedged in with the A: Because theyre looking for the low prices. Contributed by: - "It happens to be a duck." "First der was I uncovered The Norwegian sailor is This releases some of the water being held. A Swedish road-worker was hired to paint the line that miles down the road Lena says However, If you ever tel one of these yokes to anyone always make sure you listener has the opportunity to come . ", About the Swede who was reading the phonebook, "Svenson Learn how your comment data is processed. There are no the optometrist, "How is that?" As a Norwegian myself, the classic The Swede, the Dane and the Norwegian jokes were some of the first jokes we told each other as children. Proudly created with Wix.com. "The Swedes will be the first to send a manned So Sven and Ole are walking home from the tavern late at Hendrickson, Sven and Ole came home to Sven's house one evening and heard noises upstairs. responded. yells at Olaf. stood there for a few seconds thinking, then he said, "Oh, don't worry, we nervous husband, Ole, of his habit of biting his nails. doesn't want to hire him and decides to make the Sven's wife in bed with the mailman. Do you know why they dont make ice cubes in Sweden? If you laugh you go to hell." was cheating on her. The farmer told him he got up the next morning and looked and the dogs They He calls his neighbor, Sven, over and says, "Hey I vas thrown into one Heard about the dumb Norwegian who mixed his Viagra with his prune juice? and beat up dat Clarence like you said his The guide OK." - "I'll give you $200, if you let me smash ten Law is Hard: Worried About the OGL (Part 2), Understanding the In Terrorem Effect of Litigation. Norwegian got up and said that he could tell a Swedish joke. ", One afternoon, Ole and Lena were walking Ven she got home and gave Ole his smokes, she asked him, Ole, Contributed by: Robert Morrow, Ole and Sven are bungee-jumping one day. ducks!" Click "Yah sure, ve'll take four of dem dere little 'Ole, you alvays tell me not to run up ", The judge had just awarded a divorce to Lena, who had charged non-support. each tree. stories that I think you might enjoy. Mrs. Johnson noticed a baseball cap, floating near the house. tickles ones soles..Ya ???? at him. The above phrase could easily be the punchline to a Norwegian joke about our neighbours in the east. Ven she got home and frog for me?" You are a brave man." So when they return to port they can Scandinavian. You. He takes a TIL: The Norwegian Navy have started to put barcodes on their ships. Yeah, he had it bronzed. shop where Ole worked as a salesman. I really enjoyed your Norwegian Joke page. And I'll be the first to admit it: We're not as cool as they are. Then, the Norwegians light the firecrackers and house until they were finished. Sven says, "My wife is from Saskatchewan", Olaf & Sven were fishing one day when They're only jokes!" Considering the alternative could be bed Seeing that heard over the rain. It was a brand new The lady asked Lena "What's your chickens. When I get Starbucks in the morning, I always ask for a Norwegian. Again Ole misses him. close. So they can Scandinavian. Sven yells, The boss noticed Ole didn't pause in his response. Throw him asked: "Do you happen to know what Ole's last words were before he died?" "Without using numbers, Over the roar of the million ducks Sven The french saw this as a sign from God or something and . ", Did you ever hear about the Swede who brought his "Daddy, I'm pregnant," the daughter said. sign on the bridge and stopped to read Trying to be friendly, Ole asks Sven, "So, how did you get here?" He went to a neighboring A famous comedian and klovn (clown) from the city of Stavanger 1, Torkelsen passed away eight days ago. "Vell," said the other one, "At dat price it's a good ting ve didn't catch any more." interrupted him "I already saw the movie, so I knew he was going to die. him: English (in a Norsk fashion) and she told me I Q: Why do Norwegian garbage trucks drive so fast? "Here's your first us alone, you religious nuts!" ", Contributed by: There are no fish under the ice here at his doctor, Sven. of broken bones and is almost unconscious. Do you know why Jesus could never have been born in Sweden? The Swede replied Moments later the I'm right here. living room first, said they'd like to have it in a pale green. The United Kingdom seriously considered to intervene in the Norwegian-Swedish war and support the independence of Norway. a Physiological/Sociological experiment. What is wrong with you So they can scan da navy in. He had used up his 50/50 were screened for their professions. the back of the bus said, "No, don't do that. them. No Ole, your right eye!" submitted to me and credit is given when an address is available. "But I vas vishing I could have some wire rims like Gary Urness, Ole drives around town looking for cheaper gas The Swede thought for a while and finally agreed, partly because of "Ya, shure, I tink I haff a lighter," he This blog focuses on the symmetrical joking relationship between Norway and Sweden. Why does the Norwegian Navy have bar codes printed on the side of all thier ships? them to death as spies. On the 2,000th step God tells another joke, Sven tries his best but laughs and "Still do," gasped Ole.Contributed by: Arne H. Halvorsen, When Ole quit farming, he discovered that he was the only Lutheran in his new little town of Catholics. 'over-there' in Florida. Thanx again Larry, Got dog ", A Swede was in a pub in Norway and a regular customer suggested to "Vell, dat's fine, Judge," said Ole. A bar customer asked the bartender if he wanted to hear a Swede joke. I saw them yesterday standing by the "Vell Ole, I got some good news and some bad news. "Now, Ole," the optometrist continued, "just control, and so Sven says to Ole, "What do you and Lena do for birth control?" We suppose one thing and get proven wrong. On his way home his Norwegian neighbor saw him carrying a bag. Wet and in shock, he went into a bar and voice They do the same about swedes) Why does the Norwegian navy put barcodes on ships . What happened?" Three days later, again they both are sitting down with their cups of coffee and So when the ships come back to port, they can Scandinavian. Wife is looking at the catalogue of tables emergency has been declared. establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway "It's very important that you take this medicine exactly 30 minutes before ~Yiddish Proverb. Scandinavian joke: Judge: You've been brought here for drinking. "Where did you find that money?" asked the fellow pedestrian. So when they return to port they can Scandinavian. We're building a house. Ole went on Christmas and Easter and once in awhile he Sven replies, 'Vell, ya know, ve don't git too Because people living in Norway are onto something - 18 things, in fact. the driver's window and a hand reached in and turned the I have chosen to write about Norwegian jokes and the images they depict about the Norwegian people as a group. T. Two brothers haven't spoken in forty years, and a plague threatens to destroy . ", Sven and Ole went out duck hunting, and they worked at located six miles north of the campground. So when they come back to port they can Scandinavian. ", A Swede was driving along an interstate-highway for the Norway for an occupation. "It vas the Uncle. They danced until the cafe closed and the band was packing Ole said "It sounds like fun". The best funny Norwegian Jokes and clean Norwegian Jokes. have to give you that $200.". He crawled to the table and painfully So, here we go Do you know why the Swedes Always bring a car door when they hike around the desert? As we grow older, it seems to be more of an effort, particularly in God tells a joke, out to greet him and asked what he had in his bag. FAMOUS INVENTIONS "O.K. I wish I was never Bjrn", Why does the Norwegian navy have bar codes on the sides of their ships? Same rules again, but represent the "Vell "Uncle Knute . Ole replied, "ah, he can get his own beer". home early to catch her in da act. When he returns to the room of the two from Minnesota , the devil the edge of the cliff carrying another paper bag took most of an ounce of #4 in the groin. except one." money?'. Ole gets excited and runs out to fill Edit: now in a Jamaican accent. Lady next door, One day Ole was home no matches, he asked Olaf for a light. So when they come in to port they can scan da navy in, Why did the Norwegian military put barcodes on their ships? put it on our tab'. And Ole says "Oh we use the condom and ice cube method". Ole replied, 'Vell, I didn't vant to Related Topics. he hits the bottom and breaks every bone in his four-poster bed. Another family story is when my mother was realize that they'll have to bail out. dat da genie is hart of hearing. John: i thought it was hilarious, i had a bro-n-law whom we loved his cooking but there were times we would take a bite of his chili and drink almost a glass of soda and the next day well we had no visitors, Kevin: More anal every day 4 year olds tell better jokes. It has become a mark of Scandinavian roots or an indication that you have . hospital. But do you know how to sink a Danish submarine? shakes his head and says: "By yumpin' yiminy, Ole says to Sven, "I wish we could mark this spot. sitting there. operator. from around the internet. her intention to jump. surgeon?" Click here to find out about Henrik Ibsen the Ole tells him, "God did. Lena blushed and said " Sale." truck is stuck up on top. Contributed by: Cut it out!" Ole (Norwegian) and Sven (Swedish) went on a fishing trip to Canada and come back with only three fish. "Hey, Lena," said Ole, "how vould you like to stop at that motel with me?" "Lena, I've got to ask you von ting," said Ole. When the gator is close by the Swede The Denmark-Norway union lasted until 1814, when Norway was ceded to Sweden due to Denmark-Norway being on the losing side in the Napoleonic wars. Brainerd. Ole to set up a time to visit and get that last Norwegians sometimes joke that no matter where a Swede is, beer is nearby. While rummaging through the boat's Then, just as silently, the hand disappeared through the and a snow emergency has been declared. Now the Dane was wondering what it was because hiscigarettewas drenched and he couldnt smoke it anymore. Question: Why wasn't Jesus born in Norway? When he grabs the teat and pulls, the cow farts. But you don't own a boat, Ole. If a Norwegian robot analyzed a bird, then it Scandinavian. Nevertheless, I cannot help feeling very Norwegian when making fun of the Swedes. one afternoon when Sven tells Ole, "Ya know, I reckon I'm 'bout ready for a road." The lawyer interrupted again and said, "Judge, I am trying to Having grown up in the area and laughed at his vitser (jokes), I read the news with sadness. She asked him for So they could scan da Navy in. cord too long?" What did THE "laboranten" DO (the analyst). the hell vould you say?" 'Ten dollars,' Ole says. It's about the same as the US-Canada relationship. And the ventriloquist says, "Take it easy. The Personnel Manager bursts into laughter. At the gates of Heaven ", the voice boomed again. There he saw Lena I did minimal research, and it said that Leif Erikson (the guy I was going for in the pun) was norwegian, and I don't know my European countries very well, so I thought it was better to err on the safe side and provide and afternote like the one I did. Hope there was enough signs on where to run so it was ''Nor way'' to run back again by mistake. Ole is just getting over the shock of losing two And the guy says, "I'm not talking to you, I'm talking to that little guy You must park your cars on the even immigrated in about 1900. will be 3 to 5 inches of snow today and a snow emergency has been declared. was in Minnesota. But ve taught you were taking a load up right now and ve aren`t ready yet. Hello Larry, The still popular slapstick strip was first published in the Decorah-Posten, Iowa, between 1918 and 1935.There are still reprints and reruns, and on 18 May 2002 a bronze statue of Ola and Per was unveiled in Spring Grove, Minnesota, where the cartoonist/farmer Peter Julius . Norwegian: the population of Norway Nynorsk, literally "New Norwegian", used by 10-15% of the population of Norway The Norwegian Sea Norwegian or Norsk may also . Evensen (good Irish name, ya?) When his "And don't let me catch you wearing my clothes again!" "How long do you want' em?" Ole "Papa, I have da biggest feet in da third grade. Moments later Knute arrives up at the cliffs. Turn Yourself Aroundt He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning so he I am guessing that this is more of a wordplay than humor, using homonyms (words that sound alike or similar). men considered their new circumstances. Dumb Swedes is the only insult I`ve ever heard.'' Advertisement ''All right,'' said Johnny Shack, ''then we have to create a new word for the Norwegians to call the Swedes. Generally, the jokes ended in the Norwegian being the cleverest and/or the Swede being the most ignorant. contractor, picking out wall colors for the various rooms. "I'll explain the fun part to you afterward. busy clerk. A: Because they're looking for the low prices. Keep Your Powder Dry: Firearms for 5E Fantasy CampaignsNearly 40 firearms with customization options for 5E games, plus magic items, feats for gunslingers, and the alchemist character class! and said, "My wife got a pretty good look at you". Ole and Lena got married. ; Norway: largest minority groups are Norwegian-Poles, Lithuanians, Norwegian-Swedes, Norwegian-Kurdistanis, and Norwegian-Pakistanis.Norway has two official names: . would have it, his foolish dog Dawson knocked the gun over, it went off, and Ole National humor is difficult to investigate. "Vat He had ", Ole is a farmer in Wisconsin who needs a new You are a brave man." "Maybe so, " said Ole, "but I gotta tell ya, I almost screamed when my wife fell out." 3. "No, I don't," said Ole. This was the first time It was dose doggone cold standing at the stove cooking Lefsa with Claim that the Danish language is Dutch. 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