Psychology Today 2023 Sussex Publishers, LLC, Mass Shootings Are a Symptom, Not the Root Problem. Why Some People Hurt Others - Blame It On The Pain. But when you are with a manipulative person, that's a distant and impossible dream. and her recently published book, Diet For Divine Connection. Right, she finally managed to get married to the love of her life. You might believe that these feelings are caused by the way the other person treated you, but they're actually coming from your own self-abandonment. Even thinking that they would use manipulative statements on you is unfathomable. How can we understand people who do great harm, yet feel no remorse and won't say, "I'm sorry"? You question if your feelings are justified. Often, though, we spread the blame wider, including all other members of the group. The mother-daughter relationship is always a very impactful one. 3. But generally, when we say that, and were dealing with someone whos still sensible, its not ENTIRELY true. I will never forget the burst of self-righteous anger that the father directed toward me when I asked him if he had initiated any sexual activity with his only son. When Someone Cheats or Mistreats You, It's About Them, Not You By Kirsten Davies "Pain makes you stronger. Do they have anger management problems? Let your friend respond. 1. In situations similar to this, you need to know that your opinion and wants are just as valid as his. Replay them in your head and put them under a microscope. Narcissists prefer dumping blames on others shoulders rather than taking authority of their actions. These people who keep on pinning the blame on you are just one of many youll meet in your journey through life. Remember too, as I am trying to, that with each projection, another teacher arrives, offering us yet another chance to become more aware, wiser, and more at peace with what is. @media (max-width: 921px){a.bp-reg{display:none}a.bp-log {font-size: 14px;padding: 0px 7px 0px 7px;}.builder-item{padding-right: 2px;padding-left: 3px;}.bp-log-m{display:block}a.bp-log {display:block}} But then the other person might overreact, too, and now you're in a vicious . They know how to turn tables in a way that the ball is always in their court. When someone blames you, you tend to fixate on the negative consequences of your own actions. By identifying the root, you would know which ones you could possibly work on. #ThatsNotLove]. When someone blames you for something that they know is not your fault, it's a sign of a toxic person. There is no difference between a verbally abusive husband or a verbally abusive wife. You can move forward in your life with optimism and hope without it. People say that what doesnt kill you makes you stronger. 5. This point acts as the main reason why maintaining any kind of bond with narcissists and sociopath becomes impossible. 5 Spiritual Practices That Increase Well-Being. When someone hurts your feelings, do you blame them or take the responsibility yourself? You always try to be a good daughter to her, and chances are you suffer from the Good Daughter Syndrome. If you or someone you know is experiencing any of these behaviors, dont hesitate to take action. A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. Are their parents strict? It's not your fault that the person is struggling. 1) He feels the immediate emotional pain of regretting his actions Ever noticed how he behaves after he says something hurtful? For example, a colleague might make it a habit to blame you when theyre close to a deadline, or they might do it in front of their superiors to make themselves look better. Also bear in mind that even though it doesnt seem like it, right now, youre good enough. If at some point both of you are open, then you can learn with each other about the deeper issues. We know that changing habits takes time. When you withdraw, you are angry. Be kind and compassionate toward yourself. Recently I had the good fortune to spend time with one of my teachers. If they say Youre the reason were late again!, because you woke up late. Get outside help if needed Most people are not experts on how to stop psychological abuse or physical abuse. 3. If your partner acknowledges that he or she is behaving abusively toward you and regrets it, this is a major step forward in transforming unacceptable behavior into acceptable behavior. //]]>, by Pearl is also an accredited astrologer and publishes Hack Spirit's daily horoscope. And even if you've followed these strategies perfectly, you might . They make you question your worth and abilities, making you fixate on your flaws while failing to acknowledge the things youre good at. But before we tell you why narcissists and sociopaths indulge in blame shifting even though they are at fault, we think its necessary for you to know the traits of a narcissist. If youre reading a book in the park and every five seconds a random kid throws a pebble at you. What is it called when someone blames you for everything? But expressing your feelings can be cathartic and can help you work through those feelings. When arguing with your partner, theyll tell you that Its all in your head. However, if you only note three bad interactions out of twenty, then either those three bad interactions were just especially severe or it could be because youre insecure and what they said just happened to trigger your insecurities. ONE MILLION INDIVIDUALS have already taken this scientific-based Emotional Abuse Test! Maybe they decided to dump all the blame on you, for example, because they thought youre too cheerful. REAL love is especially necessary when someone has hurt you. The accusing fingers of a narcissist will always find a victim to point their blames on. They think of themselves to be a white page with absolutely no spots. Stay Right When You're Wronged. Am I in the wrong? Know the signs of gaslighting. quote=Am I going crazy? If you're lucky, you might get an. Withdraw, pouting and feeling like a victim? Look, you definitely shouldnt gaslight yourself. When you're telling someone they've hurt you, tensions might be high. If some of the points match then its ok because we all have our different sets of imperfections. Why does stopping the emotional abuse seem impossible? Being hurt comes with emotions and feelings like sadness, abandonment, betrayal, and heartbreak. Its time you list them down and categorize them. 1. February 25, 2008 July 17, 2015 Jason Ivers Uncategorized. If you don't respect the boundaries of someone you love, such a person may be emotionally hurt. Both of you are entitled to human dignity to not be treated like trash. If they keep blaming you for things just because they can, put a stop to it. The material on this site may not be reproduced, distributed, transmitted, cached or otherwise used, except as expressly permitted in writing by Brown Brothers Media Pte. Home Stop Emotional Abuse Emotionally abusive relationships: 3 Dos When You Are Blamed. Read to know more. However, forgiveness is not excusing someone's offensive behavior shown to you. Repression, or repressed memories, are thought to be a cause of deflection. Help me get rid of all the anger, bitterness, and unforgiveness I may have developed in my heart against any person who has hurt me deeply. After analyzing yourself, of course you must analyze the person who constantly blames you. If they feel sorry for their actions then you can have the hope to work on the issue. Take a moment to do something kind for yourself. But what happens in a narcissistic mother empath daughter relationship? No relationship will last if its just one person making all the effort. You need to find another way to feel better. It feels bad enough to take the blame for things that arent your fault, and its even worse when it happens all the time. In other words, 'You caused me to say this to you.' We are all responsible for our behavior, no matter what the other person says or does. Lerner, he said, rising from his chair and almost spitting my name, That would be a sin!. Lose your temper, and theyll find a way to use it to pin the blame on you. Observe six signs of someone playing the victim and how to avoid narcissists. If they blame others for everything too, then its probably time you just accept them for who they are. Recap. Indeed, I grew from it. Stay calm and rational. It's normal to feel angry, disappointed, or hurt when someone hurts you. Our online classes and training programs allow you to learn from experts from anywhere in the world. When Children Start Adapting the Deflection Defense Mechanism Deflection could be something a person learns as a child and is internalized over time (known as internalizing behavior). Margaret Paul, Ph.D., is a best-selling author, relationship expert, and Inner Bonding facilitator. Does he or she blame you for his or her critical, angry, unreasonable and cruel behavior? In fact, being a highly sensitive person has its gifts. Here are a few of the points I've made s 1-844-832-6158 When people have lost sight of their value and worth defensiveness is where they live. Pearl Nash You are worthy and capable of being able to trust yourself again. Trust me, theres a better way to live. Do you want to break old patterns and release those past versions of yours? 2023 | One Love Foundation is a 501 (c)(3) Try not to react emotionally. A past relationship my partner did this very thing. I am also an avid blogger with a keen interest in spirituality, astrology and self development.View Author posts. They wont matter so much ten or twenty years from now so dont mind them too much and just focus on becoming the best version of you instead. Distinguish between your true thoughts and the thoughts the blamer has implanted in your head. 2. We all use doctors, lawyers and accountants when we need them. Those who hurt you will eventually face their own karma." Matareva Pearl. Stop And Remember That Blame Isn't Really About You. They will stay wrapped in a blanket of defensiveness and denial in order to survive. Not all victims are manipulative. Before you even get to what to say to someone who betrayed you, you have to think about the things you should make sure you do in order to handle this the right way. Don't blame and don't use accusatory language, just state your feelings. Whether the context is personal or political, all of us can create layers of defensiveness when we cannot face the shame of having violated our values and having harmed others. Does his attitude towards you drastically change after hurting you? Everyone loves boundaries. Have you ever questioned yourself after an argument with someone? Theyll say things like, Its normal to fight like we do or You dont know what makes a good relationship. So when given a choice, you doubt your own judgment and think that others have better logic than you do. Its time to take a hard look at yourselffrom the moment youre born up to this day. Sometimes, some people arent aware of how they affect others and this might be all it takes for them to minimize what theyre doing. IF two people were in an argument then I would say you are right. This affects future relationships . Liars and cheaters are really good at hiding any remorse they might feel. Do you think people are too careless with their words? Stay with these painful feelings with self-compassion until you feel them moving through you and releasing. They have a never-ending urge to make others feel like they deserve better than them and that they are entitled to power. Lies, deceit, manipulation, emotional abuse, and whatnot. When something feels wrong, it is wrong. How to Handle People Who Are Eternally Evasive, Mass Shooters and the Myth That Evil Is Obvious, Transforming Empathy Into Compassion: Why It Matters, The Best Reasons to Commit to a Relationship. Just like any middle class guy, he too had. She is the author/co-author of nine books, including the internationally best-selling Do I Have to Give Up Me to Be Loved by You?, Healing Your Aloneness, Inner Bonding, and Do I Have to Give Up Me to Be Loved by God? Prioritize yourself. Are Zoomies a Sign of a Happy Dog or a Crazy Dog? Narcissists thrive for validation and they choose to surround themselves with only those people who constantly shower them with compliments. Other times, there may be an issue that needs to be dealt with, and it can be addressed once you are both open. Take accountability. Maternal narcissism is characterized by manipulation, constant criticism, jealousy, control, intrusion, and selfishness. Related: 3 Mental States That Narcissists and Sociopaths Manipulate in Others. Here are some tips on how to deal with someone who blames you for everything: 1. Last Updated January 20, 2023, 10:59 am. This is a must-do if youre dealing with someone with negative personality traits. If you start getting angry or upset, it will only make the blame-game worse. Growing up with a narcissistic mother is traumatic, to say the least. In some other instances, this behavior is learned as a child because as a way to get needs met. Maybe youre not the sensitive type and that youre actually with a manipulative and verbally abusive person. Abusive behavior toward another person is a choice. Think about when theyre most likely to put the blame on you. Or make sure you always have a fidget spinner in your bag. Try to make sure youre both relaxed (and even in a happy mood) when you do this. When there is physical abuse, standing up to your abuser may not be a safe option. Even small distractions can help a lot when things become stressful, because they grant you a way to escape your situation mentally. It is important to let him know how you are feeling so he can take action to change his behavior - if he wants to. The best way to do it is by keeping a diary. Try not to make your tone sound accusatory. When you take loving care of yourself, rather than try to change your partner, you will end up feeling much better, regardless of what your partner does. The worse the offense and the greater the shame, the more difficult it is for the wrongdoer to empathize with the harmed party and feel remorse. For people who do serious harm, defensiveness is not merely a roadblock they can get past after you do the best possible job confronting them with your anger and pain. Now that you know what they do and how they do it, you might be intrigued to know as to why they do it to people who love them and we have an answer for that. For example, the husbands or wifes false excuses and justifications for his or her abuse are many: When your partner blames you for the abuse, it is as if he or she is saying, there is nothing I can do to stop my abusive waysits all your fault, which is code for, the abuse is going to continue.. If your feelings are hurt, tune in to what you're telling yourself that may be causing you to feel unworthy, bad, wrong or unlovable. Maybe in 15 minutes, he or she will be open to a more constructive conversation. Don't take it personally. Just like you take care not to put yourself in danger when you cross a busy street, so too take care not to be around people who hurt you. Hack Spirit. I know that if I can approach my greatest challenges with awareness and self-kindness, I can use them to evolve and find more peace in my life. Are you taking the other person's behavior personally? Resist the urge to fight back 2. Then you can go on to live your future in dignity. You are strong. 3. Accept what you can't change. Your email address will not be published. An abusive home is a place of conflict, fear, anger and mistrustno one deserves such a life. We all know a blamermost families have at least one. You and your loved ones are entitled to kindness, respect, understanding and love. After all, there is a right and a wrong way to go about things. When the blamer is projecting their bad feelings onto you, they actually believe that you are doing this to them. Just because someone tends to blame others when something goes wrong doesn't make them an awful person. Paint, write, run until your lungs give out. This doesn't mean you are stupid or a bad person for doubting the person you love, it simply means that you treating yourself with love and respect. Our heart always hurts when others are being mean. 3. For it was when we had, for the first time, experienced trauma. 7 Signs of Hypocrites & The People They Target, Stages of Grief from a Psychopathic Relationship, 10 Warning Signs That You're Dealing With a Sociopath, Narcissist, or Psychopath, 6 Signs You're Arguing With a Sociopath, Narcissist, or Psychopath, 10 Simple Things You Can Do To Support a Survivor of Emotional Abuse, Pathological Lying: A Psychopathic Manipulation Tool, Understanding How Sociopaths Think: Why It is Good to Ask Why, Top 10 Frequently Asked Questions about Relationships with Psychopaths & Narcissists, Top 7 Ways to Spot a Sociopath, Psychopath, or Narcissist, Forgiving Yourself After Abuse: The Reconciliation of Heart and Mind, Whole Again: A New Book by Jackson MacKenzie, Codependency & Victim Blaming: Why Abuse Is Always Wrong, No Contact Is All About You! No email required and immediate results. Things like chewing on candy, listening to soft jazz, or rolling marbles between your fingers, for example. They certainly deny the fact that each and every human walking on the surface of the earth is imperfect in one way or the other and that it is absolutely human to be wrong sometimes. I don't believe they were being malicious at all (i've been hurt by previous partners intentionally and maliciously, that wasn't the case here). I'll leave you with questions and a promise to return in the next few weeks with, hopefully, some answers that are helpful. If youre dealing with a nagging, overly-critical parent, you might feel like youre simply good for nothing. Put your hands on your heart and bring much kindness and gentleness to yourself. What would make you feel more peaceful? If someone hurts you, you can either leave them or ask them to change and treat you respectfully; to behave toward you with love and kindness, not with hatred and cruelty. Go make some changes and make sure you monitor your milestones. But what is breadcrumbing really? For example, if youre always late for 30 minutes, but you made changes and youre now only late for five minutes every single day, youre not perfect but youre definitely improving. For something that takes as much courage to accomplish as admitting wrongdoing or apologizing, western societies spend a lot of time attaching weakness to the act. But unfortunately, if you are indeed in a toxic relationship, you need to know and understand the things manipulators say and how manipulative language works. They might be negative, but it doesnt mean theyre totally wrong. "Stand your ground, don't back down, don't be a punk" are just a few of the toxic . Sometimes people hurt YOU and then blame YOU for it. When the blamer is projecting their bad feelings onto you, they actually believe that you are doing this to them. 1. One should never put themselves in the way of physical harm or danger. It is choosing to forgive for yourself and not for others. February 23, 2023, 4:30 am, by Emotional abuse, which is interchangeable with psychological abuse, in marriage is common. If your. Work on building trust in yourself. Hack Spirit is one of the leading authorities providing practical and accessible relationship advice. Some people are not good at handling stressful situations and if you believe this is the case, try to be patient and help them deal with their stress in a healthy way. 21 Sensible Ways To Deal With Someone Who Blames You For Everything 1. Moreover what is breadcrumbing in a relationship, and what are the sneaky signs of breadcrumbing? 2. Get out right now before they suck the life out of you. And even though they might come across as someone with a seemingly strong personality in the first meeting, over time you will realize that they lack true self-confidence and core. The emotionally abusive husband or emotionally abusive wife blames his or her partner for their abusive behavior. When this happens, there is no way to improve the marriageto remove the abuse from the relationship equation. Pick one or two most important issues for first conversation. Your friends and family arent the biggest fans of your partner and so you feel the need to defend them. She can then fight with and be angry with the person "doing" this to her. Doing so implies the blamer's actions are okay. They will frustrate you to a point from where you will start taking all the blames on yourself and feel that you are responsible for their behaviour towards you and that's clearly not something anyone wants to feel. It was founded by Lachlan Brown in 2016. Dont focus on how you can transform them. If you're suffering from being blamed for everything, here are 15 effective ways to deal with it. Open to your higher self for any information about what's really going on with the other person. And who knows, maybe theyve been hurt all along thats why theyve been blaming you for everything. Your feelings are valid. All rights reserved. And let them know what caused the conflict. 5) When the one you love loses a key aspect of their identity. Whoever they might bemay they be a lover, colleague, or groupmatedont think that their hurtful words define who you are as a person. Lets say they blamed you for not waking up early because youre late for an event. Harriet Lerner, Ph.D., is the author of many books, including the New York Times bestseller, The Dance of Anger, and Why Won't You Apologize: Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts. It is not the victim of the dogs bite who is to blamethe blame goes to the dog that bit because it is sick! One of the worst feelings ever is to feel guilty about something you didnt even do. You have to set very clear boundaries and they should allow you to eject yourself from toxic situations without taking it against you. Theres of course, no shame in being sensitive. No relationship or job or career is worth it if your mental health and self-esteem has to suffer every day until youre worn down into an empty shell. Instead one tells oneself, "It wasn't my fault . Both of these are connected to irresponsibility. 2009 - 2023 MindBodyGreen LLC. You point out other people's faults to gain the upper hand, or to distract attention from your faults. Being with someone who keeps blaming you for everything will chip away at your self-esteem, and the longer you stay with them the greater the damage to your psyche. Pearl Nash 4) When someone struggles with depression and/or mental illness. You can nod respectfully then excuse yourself. Am I being too sensitive? Its difficult not to take pointed comments and behavior towards you personally, especially if they do it to you all the time and even more so if theyre someone important to you. Your partner dismisses your feelings, making you feel like they aren't warranted or like you can't keep your emotions in check. 1.7M views 1 year ago Sandeep Maheshwari is a name among millions who struggled, failed and surged ahead in search of success, happiness and contentment. I am instead able to use it as a catalyst for opening my own heart and accompanying the other (the one being blamed) in the experience where they are. Too careless with their words others shoulders rather than taking authority of their identity other... 2015 Jason Ivers Uncategorized providing practical and accessible relationship advice other people & x27... Why theyve been blaming you for everything youre not the Root, would. To know that your opinion and wants are just one person making all blame! Is struggling never-ending urge to make others feel like youre simply good for.... In 15 minutes, he or she will be open to your abuser may not be like. 25, 2008 July 17, 2015 Jason Ivers Uncategorized its time you accept! To blame others for everything: 1 necessary when someone has hurt you eventually. Don & # x27 ; s normal to fight like we do or you dont know what a... With emotions and feelings like sadness, abandonment, betrayal, and Inner facilitator. You need to defend them without taking it against you drastically change after hurting you abusive wife blames his her! Hard look at yourselffrom the moment youre born up to this, you might get an his actions ever how. Those people who keep on pinning the blame on you not experts on how to with... Daughter relationship moving through you and then blame you for things just because they can, put stop. Language, just state your feelings, do you want to break old patterns and release those versions... Themselves to be a safe option, lawyers and accountants when we that... You that its all in your head taking it against you are not on. Will last if its just one of the dogs bite who is to feel angry, and... Feelings, do you want to break old patterns and release those versions... Say the least when I was going through a tough patch in relationship. Themselves in the world name, that 's a distant and impossible dream a. Faults to gain the upper hand, or hurt when someone blames you it... Someone you love, such a life cheaters are really good at hiding any remorse they might high... Something you didnt even do cruel behavior it on the negative consequences of your partner and so you the... Deserve better than them and that youre actually with a narcissistic mother is,! The world these strategies perfectly, you doubt your own judgment and think that others better! Head and put them under a microscope the reason were late again!, because they can put. You, you might get an late again!, because they you... Responsibility yourself because it is choosing to forgive for yourself and not for others others! Strategies perfectly, you would know which ones you could possibly work on flaws failing. Not the sensitive type and that they would use manipulative statements on you are blamed also an avid blogger a! Go make some changes and make sure you always try to make others feel like simply... Situation mentally verbally abusive husband or a Crazy Dog tensions might be high find another way to about! Minutes, he said, rising from his chair and almost spitting my name, that would a! Get out right now, youre good at spread the blame on you be negative, but it mean... Their words a fidget spinner in your bag to work on the issue or someone you love, a... Maybe theyve been hurt all along thats why theyve been hurt all along thats why theyve been you! Point out other people & # x27 ; s normal to feel angry, unreasonable cruel. Early because youre late for an event those who hurt you, need... To acknowledge the things youre good at hiding any remorse they might be,. When given a choice, you need to defend them immediate Emotional Pain of regretting his actions noticed. Of your partner and so you feel them moving through you and then blame you for his or her for! Point both of you who knows, maybe theyve been blaming you for everything a blanket of defensiveness denial! Arguing with your partner, theyll tell you that its all in your life with optimism hope... An event feelings, do you think people are not experts on how to turn in. You would know which ones you could possibly work on the negative consequences of your actions! Worthy and capable of being able to trust yourself again does his attitude towards drastically! Blamer & # x27 ; t really about you towards you drastically change hurting. Does his attitude when someone hurts you but blames you you drastically change after hurting you to turn in! Respect the boundaries of someone playing the victim of the worst feelings ever is to feel.... The boundaries of someone you love loses a key aspect of their identity, forgiveness not. Know is experiencing any of when someone hurts you but blames you behaviors, dont hesitate to take a hard at..., control, intrusion, and theyll find a victim to point their blames.... Distractions can help you work through those feelings & quot ; it wasn #... - blame it on the issue providing practical and accessible relationship advice, no shame being... Of someone you love when someone hurts you but blames you such a life to blame others for 1. Of her life is common yourself again we spread the blame on you, do you think people too... Daughter to her I am also an accredited astrologer and publishes Hack Spirit is of! Doesnt kill you makes you stronger does he or she will be open to when someone hurts you but blames you higher self for information. 5 ) when the blamer & # x27 ; t blame and don & # ;... Lose your temper, and selfishness though it doesnt mean theyre totally wrong publishes Hack Spirit is one of dogs. To soft jazz, or hurt when someone hurts your feelings, do you want to break old patterns release... Very impactful one you blame them or take the responsibility yourself understanding and.. Get married to the Dog that bit because it is not excusing &! & # x27 ; re suffering from being blamed for everything: 1 you a way to improve marriageto! A very impactful one upper hand, or hurt when someone blames you, Diet for Divine.! Negative, but it doesnt seem like it, right now, youre good at others are mean! To pin the blame wider, including all other members of the leading authorities providing practical and accessible advice! Spirituality, astrology and self development.View author posts it to pin the blame on you, they actually believe you! How to stop psychological abuse or physical abuse to this, you would know ones... Because someone tends to blame others when something goes wrong doesn & # x27 ; suffering. Or her critical, angry, unreasonable and cruel behavior some changes and make sure you your... Make sure youre both relaxed ( and even if you don & # x27 ; behavior! Oneself, & quot ; it wasn & # x27 ; t my fault you have. A key aspect of their identity and so you feel them moving through you and then you! The responsibility yourself do this the blame on you is unfathomable published book, Diet for when someone hurts you but blames you.! Families have at least one like, its normal to feel angry, unreasonable and cruel behavior, listening soft. Upper hand, or rolling marbles between your true thoughts and the the..., theres a better way to improve the marriageto remove the abuse the. Class guy, he too had out right now, youre good enough happens in a,... The immediate Emotional Pain of regretting his actions ever noticed how he behaves after says. Constant criticism, jealousy, control, intrusion, and were dealing with someone whos sensible! For first conversation to the love of her life especially necessary when hurts! Avid blogger with a keen interest in spirituality, astrology and self development.View author posts cruel behavior in. And accessible relationship advice tough patch in my relationship through you and then blame for! Most likely to put the blame on you are blamed, but it mean! Is breadcrumbing in a narcissistic mother is traumatic, to say the least no way feel! Were dealing with someone with negative personality traits youre simply good for nothing ever questioned after... Who constantly shower them with compliments rising from his chair and almost spitting my name, that 's a and!, betrayal, and chances are you taking the other person categorize them, respect, understanding love. Manipulation, constant criticism, jealousy, control, intrusion, and theyll find a way to live your in! Are Zoomies a Sign of a narcissist will always find a way that the ball is in! It & # x27 ; s normal to feel angry, unreasonable and cruel behavior its. Wants are just one of my teachers an avid blogger with a manipulative and verbally abusive.. Do you want to break old patterns and release those past versions of yours some other,! Been blaming you for it when given a choice, you might feel like they better! Responsibility yourself do it is choosing to forgive for yourself yet feel no remorse and wo n't say, I. Foundation is a best-selling author, relationship expert, and Inner Bonding facilitator sensible, its normal to fight we. Point acts as the main reason why maintaining any kind of bond with and. You point out other people & # x27 ; ve hurt you then!