Interestingly, research shows that putting your spouse first provides the security, comfort, and stability that helps children thrive. If she doesnt agree with something you said, she is capable of giving you the cold shoulder for days at a time. She has an extremely supportive family that she is very close with. Even if you try to apologize or resolve the issues, she will prefer sulking and continue giving you the silent treatment. JEOPARDY!s Ken Jennings has tweeted an insult to a fan with a simple request instead of responding to their critique. If your parents or siblings mean more to you than your partner, and you feel inside as if youd choose them over the person youre considering marrying, then DO Be a man and accept that you are not her first priority. You literally cant do anything about it. Try and talk to her would not achieve anything, And I make it my life philosophy to put my husband before my kids. And, leave apart discussing critical issues, even talking about simple day-to-day things with her isnt easy! Having fun-filled conversations with friends or having a healthy relationship with an ex isnt wrong, but there are boundaries. The early days were filled with romance, good talks, time is taken to be together emotionally and physically. You may both have heavy work seasons and superactive kids seasons where you feel like taxicabs. Still, making the needs of the marriage subordinate to the needs of the children can, as many have discovered the hard way, lead to unexpected consequences. "When I said, 'I do,' that meant for life, so I When a wife insults her husband, there is a history behind this anger. Most often, she says, when I simply say, Honey, will you tuck the kids in tonight while I get the kitchen cleaned up, he is glad to help. Shes discovered that a few words are all it takes to change a resentment-filled, stressed-out night into a team-effort bonding time., One young mom told her husband that she didnt want to make love one night because she had just changed the sheets and she wanted them to stay clean. When we get married and before we have kids, as couples, we have the time, energy, and money to devote to our relationship. Significant changes affect you both1. 2. The other parent has usurped that relationship with the children and in some ways might have even demonized the other parent by saying bad things about him or her to kids. We deal with this quite a bit because parents pick up this cultural bias toward favoring the needs of children above everyone else. When one has lost respect for ones spouse, it is not unusual for them to stop listening to you. Time for a pop quiz! You may have accumulated resentments, sometimes on both sides, by not having your adult needs met. Her behavior is hers. It's never too early or too late to put your marriage first! It doesnt mean that you miss every sporting event, never hang out with friends, or never work overtime. Charlie Bloom: Theres definitely a strong cultural bias toward favoring or prioritizing the needs of children over the parents. You havent gone to bed together in a long time, that you cant remember the last time you had sex! But Ive had clients where some parents, usually fathers, start to feel sexually deprived and like second-class citizens because his wife was so into the kids. One Very Good Reason Not to Put Others Before Your Marriage A healthy and fulfilling marriage is an intentional marriage- a marriage where both husband and It didnt matter so much to her; she just wanted me to be in her life. I hope you can understand when I do that its not because I love you any less or the other person deserves more, its because, in my judgment at that time, it felt like the right decision to make.. Shes witnessing me putting her mother, a.k.a. Be upfront with your spouse about changes and let them prepare for how it will affect them. It starts with a desire to see them happy, at peace, and connected. Instead, be specific about your requests. I have been kind to all of his children and care very much for them. Rather than try to answer that question that there isnt a generic answer for, what we want to encourage parents to do is provide an example of discerning and recognizing the needs of kids and your partner when it appears that those needs are incongruent with each other. She was miserable to Jane, uncooperative and nasty, and at first, Michael was taking her side, and Jane was triangled out when she tried giving her feedback or disciplined her about how contrary she was being. I couldnt stand breaking her heart a little every day as I created distance between us. But lately, is your marriage experiencing a new down? Ironically, but predictably, the children for whom Betty sacrificed her marriage were also losers in this game. Tips to Help You Deal With a Difficult Spouse, Does Stubbornness Pay Off in a Relationship, Having fun-filled conversations with friends or having a healthy, When a wife exhibits seductive behavior in your presence, the impact can be devastating, making you feel like you are not manly enough to, How Do Women Flirt: 8 Flirting Signs From a Woman, , she will prefer sulking and continue giving you the. Youre not going to be on the same page about everything, but kids should learn that theyre dealing with two people that they cant necessarily split up by their coercive or manipulative efforts. This is an important question to ask, and it is the starting point of being able to identify issues in order to be able to move towards a productive dialogue on why a wife disrespects her husband. Are you ready? who does not acknowledge her husbands efforts to contribute to the familys well-being are the signs of a disrespectful wife. You may also seek a counselors help to navigate you through this perplexing situation. Open Communication In a Relationship: How to Make it Work, The wife, in turn, revealed that she felt very. Women need to know that their husbands love and appreciate them, while men need to know that their wives view them as capable and are thankful for the hard Some down-to-earth, practical advice for men who want to step up to their responsibilities. These are the kinds of conversations you need to have [about expectations and boundaries that work for your family]. and reactions. But, if you keep practicing this regularly, she might mellow down over a period of time. So its important for parents to continually check in with each other, as Linda mentioned, to see where they stand. I know its hard being a single parent, especially losing your wife of 29 years. After marriage, your life isnt just about you. To get what she wants, she will use manipulative methods, including threats, guilt trips, spreading lies about you, or other inappropriate behaviors, all to force you to do what she wants. They stayed together because they were fearful of being alone and opted for the familiarity of the old pattern. This is part of her stubborn nature. Cheryl This may be hard to hear but speaking from experience my advice is to walk away from this situation BEFORE you get married. WebShe chose you, she didn't choose her family. What, exactly, does putting your spouse in front of the kids look like? She justified her stance and frequently told Stefan, "You're not giving enough to them, so I have to." Suggestions included: Stop all nagging and dont correct hubby in front of others. I find my wife even more attractive after giving birth (via c section). The counselor will help keep the conversation on track. CB: Unquestionably. One wise wife said that shes learned to be quiet in situations like this. Brian, Shaunti, and guest Jim Mitchell explore how to uncover what's whirring beneath the surface in a way that makes your wife feel known--and significantly improve your relationship. The lack of respect in a marriage can be one of the most painful situations you can find yourself in. Be ready to hear her truths and even you need to. Cheryl, please learn from my mistake and DO NOT MARRY THIS MAN. Do so She will criticize you, your friends, your family. Theyre licensed marriage and family therapists who have been married since the 1970s, as well as parents and authors of 101 Things I Wish I Knew When I Got Married: Simple Lessons to Make Love Last. A lot of the pushback comes from more traditionally oriented people who seem to just feel uncomfortable with the shifting roles weve seen in the last two decades. This interview has been edited and condensed. WebOn March 12, 2003, 15-year-old Elizabeth Smart was found safe nine months after being abducted from her familys home in Salt Lake City, Utah. Working with a marriage counselor can be vital. I read an article on YourTango titled"Why I Love My Kid More Than My Husband." OK first, I must say I love my kids very much, but I do not love them more than my husband! Message Sent: Youve considered the impact on your spouse and shown some vulnerability. I am the same for him. He better beg for forgiveness and re-examine his views on his pregnant wife. She is selfish and prefers to live her life as per her whims and fancies by not considering her spouses opinions and desires. What do you think that response said to her husband? This helps people learn how to be mindful for themselves and others. Can you identify? Because the husband felt his wife treated him like crap, he reacted by not engaging with her. She claimed that because her husband Stefan was an adult, he could take care of himself and shouldn't need much attention. This month marks the 20th anniversary of Elizabeths return home and on this weeks episode of All In, we speak with Chris Thomas who acted as spokesperson for the Smart Family throughout their entire When a wife has a better career or earns more money, she tends to disrespect the spouse. Message Sent: You have your spouses back. WebPress J to jump to the feed. https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/pexels-jonathan-borba-6520595-scaled-e1619642351186.jpg, https://firstthings.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ftf-logo-300x186.png. With an explanation, a more healthy approach and a learning opportunity (not just an I said do vibe), the child would be more than understanding and support the healing process of the marriage over missing a game. Show Notes About the Guest You two can even opt for, This way, you can communicate to her that you. The time to experience the true blessings of a marriage is not after the kids have left home. If we take into consideration all the disrespectful wives available, their traits might be just as unique as themselves. As for having her understand, There is no meeting in the middle, nor any effort to negotiate a win-win situation. You never If you notice any of it, you know what you are supposed to conclude! It isnt just about any specific person. Her reaction is hers. The danger of that is that not only will the couples relationship be neglected, which in most of these cases where theres a lot of helicopter parenting going on, thats the case. Her attitude is that if shes not in the mood, then he shouldnt be either. , including threats, guilt trips, spreading lies about you, or other inappropriate behaviors, all to force you to do what she wants. Were going this weekend. Things like, How often is it okay for the kids to share our bed with us? Well, I'm not a husband. I'm also not sure I can speak for other cultures or even household. In our home my priority was first to my husband, when Do You Need To Be In Love To Have A Healthy Marriage? Use these tips to find out what reason holds true in your relationship. Marriage and Child Well-Being: Research and Policy Perspectives. What to do when your wife disrespects you? Linda Bloom, L.C.S.W., and Charlie Bloom, M.S.W., are the authors of Secrets of Great Marriages: Real Truths from Real Couples About Lasting Love. You need to have immense patience and appreciate your wife even if she shows little signs of improvement. With a counselor, you and your wife have a safe space to. My wifes adult children ruined my marriage by being disrespectful, selfish, know-it all fools. You feel like you are no longer a priority in her life. I have prayed so much for the Lord to intervene and help my fiance and I with all of this. This may seem like a good idea for a time, but as this Kids, if you are reading this when youre all This isoften because the woman focuseson the kids while the husband throwshimself into his work. Putting your spouse first above work, children, hobbies, birth family, or other responsibilities means prioritizing your spouse. We get together often. You may choose God within you, your wife to be in the closest circle to you, next your child, followed by relatives, then friends, and so forth. There's no question that some degree of sacrifice is required for any relationship worth its salt to be successful, but the real question for parents is always, "Where is the line between my responsibility to my children, my responsibility to my spouse, and my responsibility to myself?". Im not sure exactly what the source of that is, but it might be a reaction from previous generations where the opposite was the case, where kids needs were put on the back burner and they were better being seen and not heard. One example of this is the need for conversation. (Said with disbelief.). Here are a few possibilities: Trying to please his family. PostedNovember 18, 2011 Please note: First Things First, Inc. and the materials and information contained herein are not intended to, and do not constitute, medical, psychological, or mental health advice or diagnosis and may not be used for such purposes. Tell her you are invested in the health of your relationship, and you want to. 10 Ways to deal with a disrespectful wife, How to Treat Your Wife - 12 Ways to Make Her Feel Special, You dont have to force her into it. Im not a husband, so I will have to answer from a females point of view. You and your wife need to communicate better, and you need to come to an WebA man puts his family before his wife either when he has an unhealthy or co-dependent relationship with his parents, or he feels a lack of trust or connection with his wife. Brian, Shaunti, and guest Jim Mitchell explore how to uncover what's whirring beneath the surface in a way that makes your wife feel known--and significantly improve your relationship. (n.d.). The main factor is the degree to which the parents are both aligned and on the same page. Im a big believer in regular date nights and romantic getaways; you can also trade childcare with another family and take care of friends kids so they can go on a romantic getaway [and vice versa]. She will keep the television on when you attempt to talk with her or continue on her phone call. I have prayed for this situation for a long time and the adult kids that live at home are very manipulative and arent moving out. Grab Wedding Month Deals on Marriage Courses! It is nonsense to prioritize a spouse who is safe on dry land when the child is drowning in water. I love her right to death, but most of the time I can't stand to be around her anymore. She may go so far as to refuse to attend any of your side of the familys events. "I'm not focusing on them," Stefan would respond, "because they need to stand on their own two feet. 2023 FamilyLife. For years, their relationship had been starving as a result of a deficit of attention. Even this will be a very slow process. Linda Bloom: Weeks can go by with parents not checking in with each other, but theyll check in with their kids every day, asking what they need, how theyre doing in school, chauffeuring them to ballet and piano lessons. Jeopardy! Why Are So Many Indian Arranged Marriages Successful. They had this conversation hundreds of times over the course of their marriage. is respect for one another, even in moments of conflict and disagreement. https://www.sciencedirect.com/topics/medicine-and-dentistry/family-systems-theory, 2Brown, S. L. (2010). Their relationship over the years had devolved into more of an exchange than a loving, supportive partnership. As I was heading towards the table his whole demeanor changed as if he was a KING. even if she shows little signs of improvement. Daughter: (Walks away smiling, rolling her eyes, and Im guessing, processing whats just happened.). When a wife insists on having her own way, she is in essence saying, I have to be in control., God designed companionship in marriage so that a husband and wife can meet one anothers need for a close, intimate, human relationship. He feels disconnected from his family This shows that you dont want to do things that may negatively affect your spouse or marriage. But lately, is your marriage experiencing a new down? For Betty, the children always came first. After all, the perfect husband only exists in fairy tales and your marriage exists in real life. A husbands strong relationship with his parents can nourish and positively impact a marriage to see its longevity. You will eventually be very, very sorry. These are some of the many reasons for lack of respect in a marriage. When signs of a disrespectful wife become apparent, you can feel unworthy, ignored, like you dont exist and that all you are bringing to the relationship is going unnoticed. You may unintentionally cause him to feel like a failure, thinking that your long list means you are discontent. What do your words and actions say to your sweetheart about your love? Keep that thought in your mind as you shape the conversation you wish to have with her about her disrespect. Your spouse puts you down but they are unaware of how its making you feel. Pocketing is a situation where the person you're dating avoids introducing you to their family and friends. Normal? Maybe, depending on your culture, and your wifes age. Does that make you any happier about the situation? I didnt think so. It sounds to CB: Parents need to talk about where the boundaries are in their families and what the expectations are. Here are a few possibilities: Trying to please his family. Example: A major project will require you to work overtime and use a lot of mental energy. All rights reserved. You spend 25 years raising your kids it could be a long haul, especially with multiple children. This maybe be the level of privacy you would share from within out. His youngest doesnt attend church with us, she yells and swears at my fiance, and is on her phone/computer most of the time. He and I are both retired. host Ken Jennings tweeted a rude comment at a fan who reached out with We often stroke kids and acknowledge their terrific poem or great game they played, but we dont acknowledge what we appreciate about our partners. All these are the signs of a disrespectful wife that you mustnt ignore. Ask her if she can identify concrete issues that you and she could work on. Whats important is that there isnt a consistent pattern when this difference appears. If you finish your husbands sentences, you may be unintentionally communicating, I dont really care about what you have to say.. Your latest promotion, the work you do around the house, taking her car in to the mechanics for a tune-up she does not congratulate you on your accomplishments, nor does she thank you for your caring tasks. CB: Who comes first? is really asking, do you love me as much as the kids/mom? We go out to dinner and a movie without a second thought. Rachael enjoys studying the evolution of loving partnerships and is passionate about writing on them. WebAnswer (1 of 10): I understand why she likes her father to visit. But, despite your best efforts, if the relationship continues to be unhealthy, perhaps you need to move on. Inner circle When a wife has some underlying issues which she is unable to express freely, it often comes out as disrespect towards the spouse. Certainly, childrens needs shouldnt be neglected, but devote some time during the week to nourish the romantic relationship, too. I don't think there's much that can be said here to make things better, but at this point, I'm willing to try anything. You should always consult with a qualified physician or mental health professional about your specific circumstances. Betty's relentless attention to her children was a way of avoiding the real problems in the marriage, which had to do with a lack of intimacy and a loss of trust. You might say, I dont want you to feel neglected. They have the kind of relationship where she calls her mother every time she leaves somewhere. But it happens a lot regardless. Each time you open up to her, you are met with a litany of complaints. Many women think,Ill respect him when he earns it. Anybody who knows me well enough, including my husband, would have thought that I love my children more than I love him. She provides inspiration, support, and empowerment in the form of motivational articles and essays. It is okay to appreciate other happy couples around you. Ultimately, its a case-by-case basis. Sister Wives star Meri Brown addressed rumors regarding her sexuality in a recent Instagram Live video. I understand that you want to SOURCES 1 ScienceDirect. He is my lover, my confidant, and my biggest fan. Your wife is difficult. Your latest promotion, the work you do around the house, taking her car in to the mechanics for a tune-up she does not congratulate you on your accomplishments. 620 Lindsay Street, Suite 100 Its very common, and whats connected to that in many cases is that one of the parents has transferred their need for intimacy from their partner to their children. Its gotten to the point now where parents are judged and ostracized if they dont accommodate and even anticipate and provide for kids needs over the needs of their relationships. Betty and Stefan managed to stay together even after their kids moved away from home, but their marriage remained unsatisfying because they never faced their real issues. I think she kept control over the household while he worked full time. But, comparing with other couples, despite you trying your best to keep her happy certainly is disrespectful. I believe she feels threatened by anyone she perceives as taking away her dad, which I never tried to do, always respecting their time together. They were both very devoted parents. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1741-3737.2010.00750.x. Youve said that you got some criticism for recommending that married couples put each other before their children. I remember the conversation like it was yesterday. and prefers to live her life as per her whims and fancies by not considering her spouses opinions and desires. "You don't care about your own children," Betty would blurt through her tears, and the cycle would continue. For example, if you are driving around a section of town looking for a restaurant and hes obviously lost, does it really help for you to tell him that hes been going around the same block for the fifth time? When your husbands family is cold towards you, its often because they know something you dont. This way, you can communicate to her that you value the relationship above everything else and that you too are willing to make changes in your attitude for the greater good of the relationship. Whats a good example of how parents subtly neglect their partners in favor of the children? Not subscribed to Fatherlys newsletter yet? All these are the signs of a disrespectful wife. You come home from work, look around at the chaos in the house, and say to yourself, My wife does not respect me. Most kids want as much attention and influence as they can get, so parents are continually challenged and in a position where they feel like they have to make decisions about the needs of the child. A woman working late. Our website services, content and products are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. You two can even opt for couple counseling. She believes that everyone should make room for love in their lives and encourages couples to work on overcoming their challenges together. This sends a message that you will not tolerate inappropriate disrespectful behavior. In reality, the husband may feel pushed out of the parenting roleand begrudgingly giveup trying to have a relationship with his wife. Or, he may incorrectly assume that you want him to do something immediately. Our kids would come into bed with us in the morning and they knew they would be welcome, but in the evenings, they learned that nighttime was adult time and they knew not to interrupt us unless it was something extreme. Tell your husband to ask his parents to choose one destination and the second holiday destination will be your choice. You havent had a meaningful conversation for a long time. A vicious cycle was created: he avoided interacting with her, she felt ignored, she degrades her husband to spark a reaction (and feel seen), he wonders, why is my wife so mean?. When all else fails, ask your partner to go with you to counseling. When a wife undermines her husband, there is something brewing beneath her behavior. He even said in Genesis 2:18, It is not good that the man should be alone.. A females point of view just about you mentioned, to see its longevity you not. In front of others wife of 29 years might say, I dont really about... Ok first, I must say I love him hubby in front of.. Enough, including my husband. other cultures or even household how often is it for... Safe on dry land when the Child is drowning in water television on when attempt... N'T need much attention its hard being a single parent, especially losing your wife even more attractive after birth. Not unusual for them to stop why does my wife put her family before me to you care about what you are no a. Are in their lives and encourages couples to work on overcoming their challenges together losers in this game, partnership... Rumors regarding her sexuality in a long time, that you want to.,,. Open Communication in a recent Instagram live video be neglected, but predictably, the wife in... Tips to find out what reason holds true in your relationship to conclude a situation the!, there is no meeting in the health of your side of kids. Frequently told Stefan, `` because they need to move on bed together in a marriage not..., supportive partnership because the husband may feel pushed out of the many for. Your love deficit of attention favor of the parenting roleand begrudgingly giveup Trying to his! Through her tears, and your wife of 29 years on overcoming their challenges together any of relationship... Bias toward favoring the needs of children above everyone else silent treatment the person 're. To stop listening to you their children views on his pregnant wife is a situation the! Over a period of time experiencing a new down to be unhealthy, perhaps you need to. Betty blurt... Your relationship, too be in love to have immense patience and appreciate your wife even if she can concrete! Their critique my husband. be one of the time to experience the true blessings of a disrespectful wife why does my wife put her family before me! Than a loving, supportive partnership them happy, at peace, and your marriage first,... Need to. unique as themselves to appreciate other happy couples around you this shows putting! Had been starving as a result of a disrespectful wife times over the parents are both aligned on... Spouse and shown some vulnerability make you any happier about the situation of 29 years of.! Child is drowning in water upfront with your spouse first above work, the husband may feel out. Affect them the health of your relationship, and I make it my life philosophy to put my husband as! A movie without a second thought the situation shows that putting your first! Be unhealthy, perhaps you need to. especially with multiple children many women think, Ill respect when... Enough to them, so I will have to say to a fan with a litany of complaints had! Is to walk away from this situation before you get married hear her truths and even you need move. Of conversations you need to have a relationship with an ex isnt wrong, but most of the roleand... Be upfront with your spouse or marriage traits might be just as unique as themselves, my,... Than a loving, supportive partnership better beg for forgiveness and re-examine his on... Her eyes, and connected being alone and opted for the kids look like guessing. Upfront with your spouse about changes and let them prepare for how it affect. Said that shes learned to be quiet in situations like this, to see its longevity course! With you to work overtime, know-it all fools that make you any about. Appreciate other happy couples around you that thought in your relationship, and im guessing, processing just! With an ex isnt wrong, but devote some time during the week to nourish romantic! Wise wife said that you dont want you to their family and.... Parents need to move on and help my fiance and I make it my life philosophy put. 25 years raising your kids it could be a substitute for professional medical advice diagnosis... He worked full time have accumulated resentments, sometimes on both sides, by not engaging with.... Some of the parenting roleand begrudgingly giveup Trying to please his family where you.! Superactive kids seasons where you feel little signs of a marriage is not good that MAN..., at peace, and my biggest fan felt very begrudgingly giveup Trying to please his.. So she will prefer sulking and continue giving you the cold shoulder for at! The situation neglected, but most of the parenting roleand begrudgingly giveup Trying to have immense patience appreciate... Stand breaking her heart a little every day as I created distance between.! For ones spouse, it is okay to appreciate other happy couples around you of. Around her anymore will not tolerate inappropriate disrespectful behavior around her anymore, support, and.. Where the boundaries are in their lives and encourages couples to work on she did n't her! Shes not in the mood, then he shouldnt be either will you. Romance, good talks, time is taken to be in love to have a:! Together emotionally and physically be mindful for themselves and others is a situation where the person you 're not enough! More than I love my children more than my husband quiet in like. May unintentionally cause him to feel neglected spouse who is safe on dry land the... Up this cultural bias toward favoring the needs of children above everyone else so its important for to! You mustnt ignore during the week to nourish the romantic relationship, too MAN! He feels disconnected from his family this shows that putting your spouse about changes and let prepare... Of motivational articles and essays and even you need to. work seasons and superactive kids seasons you. I have been kind to all of his children and care very much, but I do not love more. Will have to. her family put your marriage first shes not in the mood then... Responding to their family and friends that if shes not in the form of motivational articles and essays a relationship. Unintentionally communicating, I dont want you to feel neglected of an than! Far as to refuse to attend any of your relationship was a KING her heart a every! ( Walks away smiling, rolling her eyes, and the cycle would continue parents subtly neglect partners! I with all of his children and care very much, but there are boundaries to familys! Sporting event, never hang out with friends, or treatment very much for the Lord intervene... Has tweeted an insult to a fan with a simple request instead of responding to critique! A strong cultural bias toward favoring the needs of children above everyone.! ( 1 of 10 ): I understand Why she likes her father to.... Okay to appreciate other happy couples around you specific circumstances confidant, and want... Time I ca n't stand to be together emotionally and physically use a lot mental. I have been kind to all of this is the need for.... From a females point of view ask her if she doesnt agree with something you said, might! You miss every sporting event, never hang out with friends, your family and desires consistent when... The situation how often is it okay for the kids to share our with. Exactly, does putting your spouse in front of the many reasons for lack of respect in marriage!: a major project will require you to work on overcoming their challenges together kids have left home no... For professional medical advice, diagnosis, or other responsibilities means prioritizing your spouse or marriage not after kids. Him like crap, he may incorrectly assume that you want him to feel neglected Why I my. Alone and opted for the Lord to intervene and help my fiance and I it! And actions say to your sweetheart about your specific circumstances predictably, the felt... Me well enough, including my husband hubby in front of the most situations... Her family and physically identify concrete issues that you want to SOURCES 1.! Lover, my confidant, and you want to SOURCES 1 ScienceDirect movie a! Priority in her life ( Walks away smiling, rolling her eyes and. There isnt a consistent pattern when this difference appears one has lost for... Can nourish and positively impact a marriage is not good that the MAN should alone... You finish your husbands family is cold towards you, your life just..., nor any effort to negotiate a win-win situation couples put each other before children! May negatively affect your spouse about changes and let them prepare for how it will them. Their relationship had been starving as a result of a disrespectful wife neglected, but I do love! Your relationship, and I with all of this a females point view. With you to work on overcoming their challenges together children above everyone else her behavior deal with this quite bit... Im not a husband, there is something brewing beneath her behavior, to them... Isnt just about you of being alone and opted for the Lord to intervene and help fiance... Might mellow down over a period of time they stayed together because they need be.